The Son I Lost

 I met my son when he was three years old, you see he is my best friends son and after my friend died from cancer I raised as my own. 
 I use to go on walks with him, on these walks we could talk about anything, he would tell me about his day and I told him about mine. Sometimes we wouldn't say anything, but we were together. 
 I helped him learn how to ride his bike, then once he learned you couldn't get him off it. We use to go hiking, fishing, I remember the first fish he caught, it was a small Bluegill but to him it was a world record I still have the picture I took, now I look at it and I always smile. We use to go to the Cape to go camping and camping at the DAR, My son was a big help setting up the camp. 
 He had chores and even though he didn't like them he always did them, and because of that he made me so very proud to call him my son.
 As he got older I did my best to make sure I went to every school function, If I had a few extra bucks I would make sure he had some on him so he could go to school store or just hang with his friends. And when he started dating I made sure he had some money so he could take his girlfriend out for a good time. I even gave him fifty dollars to take his girlfriend to the fair one week before I lost him. 
 I watched a boy grow into a man right before my eyes and I was the proud parent, even though he wasn't my biological son he was my son by the grace of God.
 I guess I could have done more by him but I didn't know how to be a father so I did my best. 
 The good out weighs the bad and even though he now wishes I was dead, I still love him, respect him, forgive him but most of all I miss my son. I just wish he could put aside the problem of  9/25/2010 and understand I had to do what I did and forgive me as I have him for his actions.
 Someday he might look back and see I was always there for him, but there is a price to pay when you lash out.